Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along. ~Rumi
By Macillus, for The TownCrier's Sweetheart's Week 2018.
Not entirely ready for the fun to end, he showed me to a log in the woods and our characters fell asleep peacefully together in that hidden log. ~Cerridween
Q |
How long have you been playing? |
@RYNDITH
I've been on hiatus a few times (in fact, I am right now). I want to say I started sometime around 1996. It was in the AOL era and shortly after the ICE age. I took a break shortly after GS4's launch -- the last logfile I have from that era was from 12/24/2013 (though it's possible I played some in Stormfront for awhile).
I came back about a year ago after my wife persuaded me, and stuck around until August.
I came back about a year ago after my wife persuaded me, and stuck around until August.
@CERRIDWEEN
I originally played from 1999-2004 and recently returned in March of 2017.
Q |
How did you meet? Tell us your story! |
@RYNDITH
I had made a very-heavy-RP character, a Sylvankind ranger who -- among other things -- was scared of crowds and towns and only spoke Sylvan. There's nothing in Wehnimer's Landing that suggests that any of the merchants understands the language, so I decided that if I wanted to sell anything I needed to go track down another Sylvan to assist me.
It took quite awhile of wandering around outside town, LOOKing at everyone to see if they were Sylvan or not. I finally found my wife's character out on the coastal cliffs -- a Sylvan rogue who had been rolled up probably less than an hour prior. We still actually have the log file (from her perspective) of us meeting to this day, which is kind of neat.
It took quite awhile of wandering around outside town, LOOKing at everyone to see if they were Sylvan or not. I finally found my wife's character out on the coastal cliffs -- a Sylvan rogue who had been rolled up probably less than an hour prior. We still actually have the log file (from her perspective) of us meeting to this day, which is kind of neat.
@CERRIDWEEN
We actually met in Gemstone 3 and probably the best part is that we still have the log from the day we met. In July of 2000 I rolled up a Sylvankind Rogue named Aquarrist and headed out to coastal cliffs to try her out. That's when I met another Sylvan that couldn't speak common (only spoke Sylvan/Elven) and he asked me to help him sell some pelts to Dakris in town because he was unable to communicate with him. We hunted together a bit and I helped him out. Not entirely ready for the fun to end, but realizing it was late, he showed me to a log in the woods and our characters fell asleep peacefully together in that hidden log. I wonder if it still exists?
Q |
How did you hit it off? What was it that attracted you to him/her? |
@RYNDITH
She's told me that the roleplaying initially intrigued her. I guess I was probably the same way -- I was still kind of struggling to figure out how I wanted to play that particular character at the time, but having someone to hang around helped. Over time we exchanged information on AIM and started hanging out on our main characters (Ryndith and Cerridween, at the time) -- which made for a good pairing with Ryndith being a cleric who loved to do rescues and Cerridween being an empath in the days where an empath hunting frequently consisted of "Join a tree spirit party and heal everyone who gets boiled, and maybe cast bind or unbalance if you get bored and somehow have mana"
When we learned that we both lived in the same part of the same state and that someone was hosting a gathering of GS3 players, we managed to persuade our parents (yes, we were that young at the time) to take us there... and pretty much spent most of the gathering together.
When we learned that we both lived in the same part of the same state and that someone was hosting a gathering of GS3 players, we managed to persuade our parents (yes, we were that young at the time) to take us there... and pretty much spent most of the gathering together.
@CERRIDWEEN
Since we met on our alts, it was rather hit or miss to see each other and so fairly quickly we revealed our mains to each other. It turns out we were one of those well partnered class match ups: he was a Cleric and I was an Empath. We spent our days together, him rescuing the dead, me healing them. We were especially well suited to invasions (which were very common back then). I think his warm personality, gentle demeanor, faithful role-playing and general curiosity really drew me in.
Q |
How has GemStone brought you closer together? |
@RYNDITH
Other than the fact that we wouldn't have ever met without it?
I suppose one... unusual aspect that might have originated from GS is that sometimes -- when we're *really* upset with each other for one reason or another -- we kind of end up in separate rooms and will eventually end up trying to talk about it over text. It's proven a useful tool over the years in the rare occasions we've needed to use it.
And, of course, when we were just starting to date it meant there was always something to talk about. (In the classic "Dinner and a movie" date, there's a lot of advice out there that suggests doing the movie first so you have something to talk about over dinner.)
I suppose one... unusual aspect that might have originated from GS is that sometimes -- when we're *really* upset with each other for one reason or another -- we kind of end up in separate rooms and will eventually end up trying to talk about it over text. It's proven a useful tool over the years in the rare occasions we've needed to use it.
And, of course, when we were just starting to date it meant there was always something to talk about. (In the classic "Dinner and a movie" date, there's a lot of advice out there that suggests doing the movie first so you have something to talk about over dinner.)
@CERRIDWEEN
If not for GemStone, we never would have met at all. We learned that we lived within 3 hours of each other and started scheming excuses to meet (neither of us drove at that time) and our prayers were answered when another GemStone player decided to host a player gathering nearby. After convincing our parents (his parents played so that was easy for him, my mom took a bit more work), we both got rides to the event and met for the first time in real life in February 2001. That was one of the happiest days of my life. :)
Q |
Does your romance carry into the game? |
@RYNDITH
There's usually some form of romantic attachment or relationship between my characters and hers, but the in-character relationships are at least somewhat separate. Ryndith is faithful to Cerridween, not her alts. Eledryn and Akamu's attachments have been bit more fluid, but there's not some sort of automatic "We're lovers in-real-life so every character of mine is in love with every character of hers"
@CERRIDWEEN
I'm fairly certain Cerridween and Ryndith (our characters) started 'dating' before we did. I'm not entirely certain when we officially developed feelings for each other, so we tend to stick to the date we first met as an anniversary. But yes, our characters were engaged before we left in 2004 and apparently are still engaged when we returned in 2017. We might hold the record for longest engagement in GemStone - I'm not sure! Well over 14 years though :)
Q |
What's your favorite thing to do in game together? |
@RYNDITH
This has changed a bunch over time. Helping Cerridween get favor in the old days has been fun, as well as doing a lots of rescues. Prior to my leaving we'd been doing a lot of hunting as a trio with my bard, her rogue and a friend. (A bard hunting alone is a sad sight.)
I used to love the RP aspects of the game, but when I came back last year I found myself struggling to get back into that part of the community. It's probably part of the reason I left again.
I used to love the RP aspects of the game, but when I came back last year I found myself struggling to get back into that part of the community. It's probably part of the reason I left again.
@CERRIDWEEN
We still love rescuing the dead and now that we're similar levels we hunt undead together. We really like the addition of Reim because its tons of undead which is perfect for two Voln masters.
Q |
How do you enjoy time together outside of Elanthia? |
@RYNDITH
We share lots of other geeky interests together, and are both fans of the adage "Couples who slay together, stay together!"
I originally lost interest and quit GS3 because she got really into FFXI at the time -- so I followed along into the realm of graphical MMOs This began a long stint of playing MMOs together, usually doing end-game content.
Last year, we celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary with a geeky trip to Europe, which included the Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff, touring the studio where the Harry Potter movies were filmed, and a bus tour that stopped at various Game of Thrones filming locations.
I originally lost interest and quit GS3 because she got really into FFXI at the time -- so I followed along into the realm of graphical MMOs This began a long stint of playing MMOs together, usually doing end-game content.
Last year, we celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary with a geeky trip to Europe, which included the Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff, touring the studio where the Harry Potter movies were filmed, and a bus tour that stopped at various Game of Thrones filming locations.
@CERRIDWEEN
We will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in February of 2018 (on the same day of the month as we met in 2001) and so we do plenty of things that gamer couples do together. We played lots of MMOs together (FFXI, WoW, FFXIV) but more recently we've been playing some Diablo 3 and Heroes of the Storm. We watch each other play solo games, we have a huge board game collection, we volunteer at geeky conventions, hang out with my family and generally enjoy most mundane tasks together. Some folks mistake us for newlyweds still and its really cute.
[We] are both fans of the adage "Couples who slay together, stay together!" ~Ryndith
Q |
How do you compliment one another? |
@RYNDITH
We're very much alike -- mostly the same interests, almost the same Meyer-Briggs personality type (She's INFP, I'm INXP where X = tie between Feeling and Thinking), and some of the same bad habits. Our apartment's currently a mess. *laughs*
We both also think of ourselves as empaths. I don't mean GS empaths, I mean the fact that the feelings of others (particularly those we're close to) tend to have a huge effect on how we're feeling ourselves. So, we literally make each other happy just by being happy ourselves, and do our best to take care of each other in various ways.
We both also think of ourselves as empaths. I don't mean GS empaths, I mean the fact that the feelings of others (particularly those we're close to) tend to have a huge effect on how we're feeling ourselves. So, we literally make each other happy just by being happy ourselves, and do our best to take care of each other in various ways.
@CERRIDWEEN
We're both very keen on communication and taking care of each other which has really helped us through the years. We're both very curious and technically nerdy (we're both computer developers) and are fairly easily amused. We have similar tastes in music and similar dislikes of house chores too. We both have the same sense of humor which has really helped us keep laughter in our lives.
Q |
What's the key to a set of successful characters (on and off screen)? |
@CERRIDWEEN
Communicate communicate communicate. Understand that people act in ways that make sense to them and that their experience in life may be drastically different than your own even if you both are experiencing the same moment together. Once you realize that most people act with positive intent, its becomes easier to not let a misunderstanding create a rift between you and another person. We aren't perfect and fight plenty enough, but its important that we resolve those fights and make sure both of us feel like we've been heard.
Q |
What advice do you have for anyone interested in pursuing a GS romance? |
@RYNDITH
I'm going to answer these two questions together:
The lines on this kind of blur... are we talking a strictly in-game, in-character "I'm not necessarily pursuing the player" sort of romance, or are we talking about a relationship between two actual people? Are the players on both ends of the relationship looking for the same thing? If not, that's probably a recipe for eventual disaster.
The single most important thing for a relationship -- whether in or out of game -- is communication. In GS, you have the advantage that you can think about what you're going to say and rephrase your sentences before you say them -- and the wealth of verbs helps counteract the fact that text can't convey things like sarcasm very well by itself. OOC whispers or other communication channels can help differentiate between in- and out-of-character things.
Depending on how you choose to roleplay your characters, there may very well be situations where it makes sense for your character is upset at your SO's character for some reason or another. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as your SO knows that you're not personally upset at them.
The lines on this kind of blur... are we talking a strictly in-game, in-character "I'm not necessarily pursuing the player" sort of romance, or are we talking about a relationship between two actual people? Are the players on both ends of the relationship looking for the same thing? If not, that's probably a recipe for eventual disaster.
The single most important thing for a relationship -- whether in or out of game -- is communication. In GS, you have the advantage that you can think about what you're going to say and rephrase your sentences before you say them -- and the wealth of verbs helps counteract the fact that text can't convey things like sarcasm very well by itself. OOC whispers or other communication channels can help differentiate between in- and out-of-character things.
Depending on how you choose to roleplay your characters, there may very well be situations where it makes sense for your character is upset at your SO's character for some reason or another. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as your SO knows that you're not personally upset at them.
@CERRIDWEEN
Our relationship was rather organic so it seems silly for me to place rules or guidelines on someone else but years of experience leads me to want to give a general guideline based on what worked for us. Communicate about expectations, admit when you're wrong, a person will never tire of compliments, learn what makes the other person laugh and be willing to compromise. I think it's fairly important to establish IC/OOC boundaries early (expectations) but otherwise - have fun!
Q |
Do you have any plans for Valentine's Day? |
@RYNDITH |
@CERRIDWEEN |
Considering it's only a few days before our anniversary, I should probably get on that ;)
|
Since our wedding anniversary is so close to Valentines, we tend to skip it and just focus on our date. Plus tons of 'romantic' stuff is usually on sale right afterwards which is awesome! No matter what our plans are - we'll likely be doing them together and having an absolutely wonderful time of it.
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Lich users may find the following useful:
;alias add --global ooc = whisper ooc
;alias add --global og = whisper ooc group
;alias add --global ooc = whisper ooc
;alias add --global og = whisper ooc group