The 2018 April Fools' Day Archives - for posterity.
by Stonmel, with contributions by Oubar, and Luxelle, and our Guest Newsies for the day: GM Necios, GM Aulis, and GM-Barely-In-Time-Before-Midnight Viduus.
by Stonmel, with contributions by Oubar, and Luxelle, and our Guest Newsies for the day: GM Necios, GM Aulis, and GM-Barely-In-Time-Before-Midnight Viduus.
"Even gods love jokes."
~ Plato
WPS UPDATE
GM Estild, GM Coase, GM Tamuz, and GM Zissu made an exciting joint announcement today of a change to enchanting WPS items. After the wizards' reactions about additional water lore training for enchanting, the other elements seemed less useful. So, enchanting W/P/S gear will now require earth lore!
ROLEPLAY
A recent update to the legal system in the lands is underway: Introducing torts! Now when you and another player have a disagreement, you can file a lawsuit against them. Check in with a local clerk today to learn how to file a claim! Bring Silvers. There are fees to file, fees to adjudicate, and of course, the contingency...
LICH
Several great folks have worked behind the scenes to introduce a new feature to Lich. Download the new DreavenInACan script today and it will coordinate mass spellups among groups of people the lands over!
SPIRIT BEASTS
The Spirit Beast combat system has been enhanced and expanded! There are now local NPC-based challenges available for Trainers in every town! See if you've got the very best!
DEATH'S STING
Here's some good news for those folks who were unhappy with the death's sting system - it has been overhauled and replaced with the original Demonic system! Players can still get those characters lost to the Demonic back from a new item in the SimuCoin store, look for it today.
REVENGE OF THE KOBOLDS
For too long, kobolds have been the source of amusment and ridicule. Today, the Kobold Union met and decided to step up to the post-cap world. The kobold village outside the Landing has been reworked into a post-cap hunting ground. Watch out for those sneaky thieves and their rabid squirrel pets!
ELANTHIA
Due to the constant East vs. West debate, the tunnels between them have been sealed off! Additionally, all existing teleportation mechanics have been disabled as well. Moving forward, the world will be divided into two separate instances. Don't worry though, folks still wishing to pass back and forth can with a new item being rolled out in the Simucoin store!
GURU
With great sadness, we learned that GM Kenstrom has decided to leave the staff. We offer our thanks and congratulations on his next endeavor. While he will be greatly missed, that does leave an opening for the Landing Guru position. Apply today, there are so many characters yet to kill....
SIMUCON
Due to the overwhelming support last Simucon enjoyed, it's been decided to aim for even larger goals still! Negotions are underway with Space X to have Simucon 2018 hosted in orbit! Check out the IndieGoGo campaign to learn how you can be a part of this, and make your reservation!
BOUNTY
The Time Lord Himself has been monitoring what tasks are getting done and which are getting traded; today's surprise announcement is the Adventure Guild 2.0 update! Some new tasks were added, some removed, and many had their rewards tweaked completely! Check out all the new changes!
MHO
There is a new MHO forming around the idea of bringing adventurers together and playing the exciting game of Computers and Paychecks! This game places you in the role of a far future human trying to earn a living in a technologically based world! Those interested in joining this new MHO named "The Natural 20" should contact its leader, Melivn!
HORSES
After much demand from the playerbase, GM Necios is pleased to reveal his latest project: HORSES! Effective immediately, saddles can be purchased in the Simucoin store, and, at the upcoming Super Secret event, there will be a chance (equivalent to a T6/Jackpot) to nab your very own horse! Rumor has it unicorns will even be possible!
CAP THIS!
The Dev team is happy to announce that the level cap is set to be raised to level 200 in the near future! New hunting areas will be released slowly over the next 90 days, spanning the entire level range from 100 to 200. Access to all new hunting grounds will require a Hunting Pass, available now in the Simucoin store.
ARKATI
Have you ever wanted to be a GOD? Starting next month, Arkati will be a playable race! Only characters who have reached cap (level 100) will have the option to convert, and conversion sets the adventurer back to level 0.
PUPPERS
Not a 'kitty' person? Introducing Puppers! These adorable bundles of energy are ready to wriggle their way into your heart. Look to adopt one starting this week!
MERCHANT
Dust those rare/old items off and don't worry that that they might be transformed or confiscated. Get them spiffied up, lightened, weighted, and padded by a merchant visiting us from the distant past ... with the distant past's rules!
AUCTION
While the Great Auction of 2016 was a success, the time to organize it was too much. Moving forward, it's been decided that the Great Auction of 2018 will pull items from the lockers of old inactive accounts and give them a second life in the lands. An email has gone out to all inactive accounts, advising them to reactivate today to avoid this fate! "We expect this to boost subscriptions as well," the Time Lord said.
JANITOR
The Janitor system has received a much-needed overhaul. Because of the large number of valued items lost to him every day, players can now take out insurance policies on their items! If an item is insured, it will be returned to them in 5-10 business days from when they file their claim. This system will use silvers, due to recent concerns over their value in this game. This should also free GMs up to focus on other duties. "It's a win-win for everyone," a GM said.
GS CLASSIC
Simu has decided to jump on the industry bandwagon and offer a Classic server for GemStone III. Starting this month, a player can add an additional $9.95 subscription option to enjoy the world of Gemstone III. Delve into those fond memories from an earlier time and experience when the lands were young for the first time! Experience waiting in lines for a locker, table, latching room, and more!
MERCHANT
John, we shall call him, is a merchant who operates outside of the rules of the Merchant Guild, and will be at the top of the Colossus to work on your Metallic Gowns, your urglaes items, elesine alterations, and more. Watch for him at midnight on the 13th. He will accept silvers, scrip, tickets, or seashells. Word is, however, he does not work cheap.
OTF LOST GEAR SOLUTION
Wyrom announced that the staff is answering too many inquiries about gear lost in OTF. The Janitor doesn't usually have it anyway, right? Starting some time this week, after it gets out of QC, Sonic Gear will be listed on scrolls as part of the general OTF treasure drops. You'll be grandfathered in to 7x, without flares. "We advise you secure the gear you care about and sing up whatever you need," an anonymous GM said. Oh, and the scroll only works in OTF.
SILVER
With silver on the rise in the secondary markets after recent breaking news of the upcoming Commencement of Coraesine Forest, the Home Office has decided to take a stab at it, too. Starting soon you'll be able to buy silver with SimuCoins! Stock up for the most expensive event in over a decade!
TOWN CRIER
We are excited to announce the monetization of the TownCrier Channel. A new script has been created to monitor who's attuned to the channel, and generate a bill that will be PMed to them weekly. You'll only be charged for the headlines you are on for! Once contacted, please get with Paperboy to settle up your debt, because, if you fall too far behind, you'll be removed from the channel.
NEW CLERIC SPELL RELEASED: ASCENSION
~by GM Necios, at the officials
Calling all Clerics! Spell slot 320 is finally live!
Are you bored with Elanthia's limited selection of Patron Saints to choose from? The solution has at long last arrived! After a single cast of the new spell Ascension, you will no longer mingle with mere mortals. Instead you'll make your way up through the ranks of the Lesser Spirits, arriving the Pantheon of your choosing!
But wait... there's more! And some of it is in the SimuCoin store. ;)
Every 10 ranks of Spiritual Lore, Religion will grant you one NPC follower similar to an animate, familiar, or dhu kitten. Every 5 ranks of Spiritual Lore, Blessings above 20 will add 5 standard ambient messages of adoration and adulation. These NPCs will follow you around day and night to ensure everyone knows your holy (or dark) status... whew, you thought the screen scroll was bad now! At 100 ranks of Spiritual Lore, Summoning, you can answer Prayers of Communion! Last, thanks to approval from GM Estild, at 50 ranks of Elemental Lore, Water, you can control the weather briefly over one town once every 24 hours!
Visit the SimuCoin store to purchase your own slot on the CONVERT list and get your own in-game fanbase going! You can also purchase a few consulting hours with a GM to design your custom symbol and create your unique history, effectively immortalizing you! Stay tuned for prices.
Questions about this latest release? Toss an email to GS4-FOOL@PLAY.NET! And don't bug the Development team; it wasn't their idea. :)
SQUARES OF WYROM - ALL NEW EVENT
~ by GM Necios
You thought Rings of Lumnis was going to be epic? Well get ready for Squares of Wyrom!
Our Next Big Paid Event, dates TBA, will feature a live 6x6 face-off of players vs. GameMasters, with our own beloved Wyrom as the emcee! The games include physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual challenges. It is not for the faint of heart... but that's all you get to know for now. Potential player candidates highly favored to win in the pre-selected first round: Rowdy Rohese, Nature Girl Luxelle, Dustybeard Rhodes, Crybaby Canon Cruxophim, Spontae Sputnik Monroe, and The Fabulous Lylia Moolah! Watch them battle and race to the win against Killer Kaikala, Stone Cold Skhorne, Fierce Flannel Flannihan, One Woman Gang Palvella, Naos the Not-So-Nice, and Macho Man Mazreth!
GM Tamuz graciously agreed to make all the prizes! Luckily for him, there's only one: RPA orbs! (YOU GET AN ORB! AND YOU GET AN ORB! AND YOU GET AN ORB!)
Check the SimuCoin store soon for your QuestNexus to this great event! Email GS4-FOOL@PLAY.NET RSN to apply to be a participant in round two in this unique real world/Elanthian crossover. Deadline to apply is 4/1/2018! Special thanks to GameHost Auttaja for her creative contributions herein. :)
SHOOTING FOR
THE MOONS
~ by GM Aulis
A recent discovery of an extremely large cache of veniom on the eastern side of the DragonSpine Mountains has led to a major racial enclave on what to do with said deposits.
For three whole days ambassadors of every race were locked in private discusion within the vast depths of Library Aies to discuss the best use of said veniom.
Finally, it was determined: WE'RE GOING TO THE MOONS!
A team of gnomish tinkerers have determined ways to turn Elven airships right-side-up, along with ways to attach even more veniom to them than ever before. They have also been working side-by-side with another team, compromised of Elven mages, on the best way to speed the airships skyward and beyond.
Scholars from Ta'Illistim have decided that the first moon to be visited will be Lornon, since the least is known about it and it is quite a mystery. An exploratory group of 100 ADVENTURERS will be sent to colonize the moon and provide further research.
Player applications for the exploratory group of ADVENTURERS can be found at www.play.net/gs4/aprilfools
MAGE GUILDMASTERS GAIN MERCHANT RECHARGING
~ by GM Viduus
Infuriated by the rising costs of reagents and enchanting materials, wizard guild masters at the local Wehnimer's branch took to the streets to vent their frustrations. The protest turned violent when merchant guild representatives hit the streets to silence and mock the mages who might cut into their profits. Chaos ensued as the mages lost their tempers and unleashed fire and fury on the snooty merchants and their wagons. At day's end, many a merchant was battered and bruised from staff and book, and at least two wagons were reduced to ash. Several wizards were seen running away from the scene carrying bags of loot and merchandise. The local constable has been dispatched to track down the stolen merchandise, but admits the chances of recovery are slim. When asked the total loss of goods suffered in the incident, the merchant's guild representative responded, "the goods are easily replaced, but the recharge trade secrets, RECHARGE TRADE SECRETS are gone!" before rushing off in tears.
- - - - - - - - - -
There now exist wizard master level "rodyn" potions that will convert any magic item into mage rechargeable items for a small window of time (60 seconds). During this time a wizard may use an orb prepared with 517 to charge the item using the same rules that GM-Merchant characters use for charging items. Meaning no chance of failure (assuming the item hasn't deteriorated to the point of not being chargable verifiable via merchant messaging on 405) and much lower mana costs (1 mana per charge) than traditional mage charging. Creation of this potion will require a high-level and rare ingredient, but will produce a potion with 5 pours, allowing upwards of 200 charges from a single non-rechargeable item at nominal risk.
GM Estild, GM Coase, GM Tamuz, and GM Zissu made an exciting joint announcement today of a change to enchanting WPS items. After the wizards' reactions about additional water lore training for enchanting, the other elements seemed less useful. So, enchanting W/P/S gear will now require earth lore!
ROLEPLAY
A recent update to the legal system in the lands is underway: Introducing torts! Now when you and another player have a disagreement, you can file a lawsuit against them. Check in with a local clerk today to learn how to file a claim! Bring Silvers. There are fees to file, fees to adjudicate, and of course, the contingency...
LICH
Several great folks have worked behind the scenes to introduce a new feature to Lich. Download the new DreavenInACan script today and it will coordinate mass spellups among groups of people the lands over!
SPIRIT BEASTS
The Spirit Beast combat system has been enhanced and expanded! There are now local NPC-based challenges available for Trainers in every town! See if you've got the very best!
DEATH'S STING
Here's some good news for those folks who were unhappy with the death's sting system - it has been overhauled and replaced with the original Demonic system! Players can still get those characters lost to the Demonic back from a new item in the SimuCoin store, look for it today.
REVENGE OF THE KOBOLDS
For too long, kobolds have been the source of amusment and ridicule. Today, the Kobold Union met and decided to step up to the post-cap world. The kobold village outside the Landing has been reworked into a post-cap hunting ground. Watch out for those sneaky thieves and their rabid squirrel pets!
ELANTHIA
Due to the constant East vs. West debate, the tunnels between them have been sealed off! Additionally, all existing teleportation mechanics have been disabled as well. Moving forward, the world will be divided into two separate instances. Don't worry though, folks still wishing to pass back and forth can with a new item being rolled out in the Simucoin store!
GURU
With great sadness, we learned that GM Kenstrom has decided to leave the staff. We offer our thanks and congratulations on his next endeavor. While he will be greatly missed, that does leave an opening for the Landing Guru position. Apply today, there are so many characters yet to kill....
SIMUCON
Due to the overwhelming support last Simucon enjoyed, it's been decided to aim for even larger goals still! Negotions are underway with Space X to have Simucon 2018 hosted in orbit! Check out the IndieGoGo campaign to learn how you can be a part of this, and make your reservation!
BOUNTY
The Time Lord Himself has been monitoring what tasks are getting done and which are getting traded; today's surprise announcement is the Adventure Guild 2.0 update! Some new tasks were added, some removed, and many had their rewards tweaked completely! Check out all the new changes!
MHO
There is a new MHO forming around the idea of bringing adventurers together and playing the exciting game of Computers and Paychecks! This game places you in the role of a far future human trying to earn a living in a technologically based world! Those interested in joining this new MHO named "The Natural 20" should contact its leader, Melivn!
HORSES
After much demand from the playerbase, GM Necios is pleased to reveal his latest project: HORSES! Effective immediately, saddles can be purchased in the Simucoin store, and, at the upcoming Super Secret event, there will be a chance (equivalent to a T6/Jackpot) to nab your very own horse! Rumor has it unicorns will even be possible!
CAP THIS!
The Dev team is happy to announce that the level cap is set to be raised to level 200 in the near future! New hunting areas will be released slowly over the next 90 days, spanning the entire level range from 100 to 200. Access to all new hunting grounds will require a Hunting Pass, available now in the Simucoin store.
ARKATI
Have you ever wanted to be a GOD? Starting next month, Arkati will be a playable race! Only characters who have reached cap (level 100) will have the option to convert, and conversion sets the adventurer back to level 0.
PUPPERS
Not a 'kitty' person? Introducing Puppers! These adorable bundles of energy are ready to wriggle their way into your heart. Look to adopt one starting this week!
MERCHANT
Dust those rare/old items off and don't worry that that they might be transformed or confiscated. Get them spiffied up, lightened, weighted, and padded by a merchant visiting us from the distant past ... with the distant past's rules!
AUCTION
While the Great Auction of 2016 was a success, the time to organize it was too much. Moving forward, it's been decided that the Great Auction of 2018 will pull items from the lockers of old inactive accounts and give them a second life in the lands. An email has gone out to all inactive accounts, advising them to reactivate today to avoid this fate! "We expect this to boost subscriptions as well," the Time Lord said.
JANITOR
The Janitor system has received a much-needed overhaul. Because of the large number of valued items lost to him every day, players can now take out insurance policies on their items! If an item is insured, it will be returned to them in 5-10 business days from when they file their claim. This system will use silvers, due to recent concerns over their value in this game. This should also free GMs up to focus on other duties. "It's a win-win for everyone," a GM said.
GS CLASSIC
Simu has decided to jump on the industry bandwagon and offer a Classic server for GemStone III. Starting this month, a player can add an additional $9.95 subscription option to enjoy the world of Gemstone III. Delve into those fond memories from an earlier time and experience when the lands were young for the first time! Experience waiting in lines for a locker, table, latching room, and more!
MERCHANT
John, we shall call him, is a merchant who operates outside of the rules of the Merchant Guild, and will be at the top of the Colossus to work on your Metallic Gowns, your urglaes items, elesine alterations, and more. Watch for him at midnight on the 13th. He will accept silvers, scrip, tickets, or seashells. Word is, however, he does not work cheap.
OTF LOST GEAR SOLUTION
Wyrom announced that the staff is answering too many inquiries about gear lost in OTF. The Janitor doesn't usually have it anyway, right? Starting some time this week, after it gets out of QC, Sonic Gear will be listed on scrolls as part of the general OTF treasure drops. You'll be grandfathered in to 7x, without flares. "We advise you secure the gear you care about and sing up whatever you need," an anonymous GM said. Oh, and the scroll only works in OTF.
SILVER
With silver on the rise in the secondary markets after recent breaking news of the upcoming Commencement of Coraesine Forest, the Home Office has decided to take a stab at it, too. Starting soon you'll be able to buy silver with SimuCoins! Stock up for the most expensive event in over a decade!
TOWN CRIER
We are excited to announce the monetization of the TownCrier Channel. A new script has been created to monitor who's attuned to the channel, and generate a bill that will be PMed to them weekly. You'll only be charged for the headlines you are on for! Once contacted, please get with Paperboy to settle up your debt, because, if you fall too far behind, you'll be removed from the channel.
NEW CLERIC SPELL RELEASED: ASCENSION
~by GM Necios, at the officials
Calling all Clerics! Spell slot 320 is finally live!
Are you bored with Elanthia's limited selection of Patron Saints to choose from? The solution has at long last arrived! After a single cast of the new spell Ascension, you will no longer mingle with mere mortals. Instead you'll make your way up through the ranks of the Lesser Spirits, arriving the Pantheon of your choosing!
But wait... there's more! And some of it is in the SimuCoin store. ;)
Every 10 ranks of Spiritual Lore, Religion will grant you one NPC follower similar to an animate, familiar, or dhu kitten. Every 5 ranks of Spiritual Lore, Blessings above 20 will add 5 standard ambient messages of adoration and adulation. These NPCs will follow you around day and night to ensure everyone knows your holy (or dark) status... whew, you thought the screen scroll was bad now! At 100 ranks of Spiritual Lore, Summoning, you can answer Prayers of Communion! Last, thanks to approval from GM Estild, at 50 ranks of Elemental Lore, Water, you can control the weather briefly over one town once every 24 hours!
Visit the SimuCoin store to purchase your own slot on the CONVERT list and get your own in-game fanbase going! You can also purchase a few consulting hours with a GM to design your custom symbol and create your unique history, effectively immortalizing you! Stay tuned for prices.
Questions about this latest release? Toss an email to GS4-FOOL@PLAY.NET! And don't bug the Development team; it wasn't their idea. :)
SQUARES OF WYROM - ALL NEW EVENT
~ by GM Necios
You thought Rings of Lumnis was going to be epic? Well get ready for Squares of Wyrom!
Our Next Big Paid Event, dates TBA, will feature a live 6x6 face-off of players vs. GameMasters, with our own beloved Wyrom as the emcee! The games include physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual challenges. It is not for the faint of heart... but that's all you get to know for now. Potential player candidates highly favored to win in the pre-selected first round: Rowdy Rohese, Nature Girl Luxelle, Dustybeard Rhodes, Crybaby Canon Cruxophim, Spontae Sputnik Monroe, and The Fabulous Lylia Moolah! Watch them battle and race to the win against Killer Kaikala, Stone Cold Skhorne, Fierce Flannel Flannihan, One Woman Gang Palvella, Naos the Not-So-Nice, and Macho Man Mazreth!
GM Tamuz graciously agreed to make all the prizes! Luckily for him, there's only one: RPA orbs! (YOU GET AN ORB! AND YOU GET AN ORB! AND YOU GET AN ORB!)
Check the SimuCoin store soon for your QuestNexus to this great event! Email GS4-FOOL@PLAY.NET RSN to apply to be a participant in round two in this unique real world/Elanthian crossover. Deadline to apply is 4/1/2018! Special thanks to GameHost Auttaja for her creative contributions herein. :)
SHOOTING FOR
THE MOONS
~ by GM Aulis
A recent discovery of an extremely large cache of veniom on the eastern side of the DragonSpine Mountains has led to a major racial enclave on what to do with said deposits.
For three whole days ambassadors of every race were locked in private discusion within the vast depths of Library Aies to discuss the best use of said veniom.
Finally, it was determined: WE'RE GOING TO THE MOONS!
A team of gnomish tinkerers have determined ways to turn Elven airships right-side-up, along with ways to attach even more veniom to them than ever before. They have also been working side-by-side with another team, compromised of Elven mages, on the best way to speed the airships skyward and beyond.
Scholars from Ta'Illistim have decided that the first moon to be visited will be Lornon, since the least is known about it and it is quite a mystery. An exploratory group of 100 ADVENTURERS will be sent to colonize the moon and provide further research.
Player applications for the exploratory group of ADVENTURERS can be found at www.play.net/gs4/aprilfools
MAGE GUILDMASTERS GAIN MERCHANT RECHARGING
~ by GM Viduus
Infuriated by the rising costs of reagents and enchanting materials, wizard guild masters at the local Wehnimer's branch took to the streets to vent their frustrations. The protest turned violent when merchant guild representatives hit the streets to silence and mock the mages who might cut into their profits. Chaos ensued as the mages lost their tempers and unleashed fire and fury on the snooty merchants and their wagons. At day's end, many a merchant was battered and bruised from staff and book, and at least two wagons were reduced to ash. Several wizards were seen running away from the scene carrying bags of loot and merchandise. The local constable has been dispatched to track down the stolen merchandise, but admits the chances of recovery are slim. When asked the total loss of goods suffered in the incident, the merchant's guild representative responded, "the goods are easily replaced, but the recharge trade secrets, RECHARGE TRADE SECRETS are gone!" before rushing off in tears.
- - - - - - - - - -
There now exist wizard master level "rodyn" potions that will convert any magic item into mage rechargeable items for a small window of time (60 seconds). During this time a wizard may use an orb prepared with 517 to charge the item using the same rules that GM-Merchant characters use for charging items. Meaning no chance of failure (assuming the item hasn't deteriorated to the point of not being chargable verifiable via merchant messaging on 405) and much lower mana costs (1 mana per charge) than traditional mage charging. Creation of this potion will require a high-level and rare ingredient, but will produce a potion with 5 pours, allowing upwards of 200 charges from a single non-rechargeable item at nominal risk.
